


It Hurts

by adorkabealekendrick



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Captain Marvel - Freeform, Carol Danvers - Freeform, F/F, Marvel - Freeform, carol and Maria, carol danvers and maria rambeau, carolmaria, carolmaria angst, maria rambeau - Freeform, mcu - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-24
Updated: 2019-06-24
Packaged: 2020-05-19 04:18:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19349347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adorkabealekendrick/pseuds/adorkabealekendrick
Summary: In a monologue-esque short, Maria is suddenly overwhelmed with emotion as she begins to come to terms with Carol’s re-appearance.





	It Hurts

Maria set her alarm clock, lowering her head down onto the pillow below. She shook her head.

What a day.

Green shape shifting aliens, “flerken” cats, space...the love of her life.

Lying there, staring up at the ceiling, Maria was struggling to believe that Carol was actually right downstairs - sleeping peacefully - on the couch.

Alive.

Just when Maria had finally begun to accept that she’d lost her best friend and didn’t even have her body to give a proper funeral, here Carol was, turning up with kettle-boiling hands and glowing hair.

Unbelievable.

All this time...her best friend was out there in the universe, not being her best friend, forgetting about her. Not dealing with the heartache, or the worry, or the struggle. Not like Maria did, for six years. Six whole years of heart-aching pining as she constantly worried and mulled over the loss of her love, struggling to raise their daughter alone and hating herself every damn day for letting Carol go on that trip with Lawson when she  _ knew _ it was a bad idea. Hating how...how  _ difficult _ it was to tell their four year old daughter that her momma wasn’t coming back. 

She can’t help herself. 

She feels the sob escaping her throat before she feels the tears, and she doesn’t understand why she’s crying - it’s rare that Maria doesn’t understand things...she should be happy, surely? Carol’s here. She’s safe. She’s alive. 

But...Maria’s not happy. 

Not at all. 

She’s alive...but at what cost? 

She’s not the Carol Maria knew and loved, no matter how much Maria can try and convince herself that she is. And Jesus  _ Christ _ , that hurts. That hurts a lot. It hurts in the burning of her chest and the flooding of her eyes and the way her hands wring and punch Carol’s old pillow next to her. It hurts in the desperate, choked, muffled cries of pure heartbreak into her own pillow, and the flashes of all their most precious memories, now gone forever from Carol’s mind but forever stuck in hers. It hurts in the memories lost, the time, the love. Carol’s back, but she’s never felt so far away. 

It hurts.

**Author's Note:**

> Super short short!


End file.
